What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
