put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Apparently you make a good broom.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
