My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
