Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
