: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
