The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
