that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
