i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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