Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
