You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
