i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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