May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
