She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
