why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
