your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
