so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
