So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
