Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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