I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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