Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
