of course. lets lasso hookers.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
