OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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