I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Then you guys just all showered together...?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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