For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
This is classic penis vs brain.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
