omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
