hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
