Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
