you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
