I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
