I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
