he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
