I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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