you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
