if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
