Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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