Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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