My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
