Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
