I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
They took my balls.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
