Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
