the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
