apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
