We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
