Who wears a wallet chain?!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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