It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
