i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
