I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
