You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
