fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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