I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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