I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
